


The Dance

by FlyRobinFly



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy, Star Wars: Poe Dameron (Comics)
Genre: Best Friends, Co-Generals, Finn-centric (Star Wars), Flirting, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Gay Poe Dameron, Getting Together, Hurt/Comfort, Jealousy, Kes Mentioned, M/M, Mutual Pining, Nightmares, Past Relationship(s), Poe Dameron Hurts So Prettily, Poe Dameron Needs A Hug, Poe Dameron is NOT a slut, Poe Dameron/Finn Fluff, Post-Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Promises, Protective Finn (Star Wars), Rey mentioned, Sharing a Bed, Sharing a Room
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-28
Updated: 2020-06-28
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:33:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24953854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FlyRobinFly/pseuds/FlyRobinFly
Summary: Finn and Poe have been doing this dance since the moment they met. Flirting and bickering outlined intense moments of vulnerability. Even in the midst of navigating through the rocky terrain of leading a Post-War Resistance, between long hours and in the middle of rough nights, they find time for their dance.
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Finn
Comments: 19
Kudos: 143





	The Dance

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't written in a while so I hope this is at least ok. It's not at all what I planned but sometimes I feel like I have no control when I am writing; whatever comes out, comes out. Not much I can do about it.
> 
> Anyways, I really hope you enjoy this.
> 
> #FinnPoeForever

Finn opens his eyes. It’s completely silent, except for the sounds of the jungle outside his shared tent with Poe. It’s dark out. Only the moonlight casts shadows of the leaves moving in the wind. He’s not sure why he’s awake. He knows he’s tired. He’d been up for almost thirty-six hours previous due to a mission with Poe that went a little sideways. He should be asleep.

Finn closes his eyes. He hopes it’s just that his sleep cycle is thrown off because of the mission. It certainly wouldn’t be the first time since joining the Resistance that he’s suffered from insomnia. That’s one thing he did appreciate about the First Order: routine. Routine was comfortable, predictable. But nothing about his life had been predictable lately.

At least, nothing should’ve been predictable. But Finn always had this intuition about things. It’s how he made it so far in the First Order. It’s how he knew when to make his move to escape. Something about  _ that pilot _ just triggered him. Finn just  _ knew  _ the pilot was the key.

What Finn couldn’t predict was that a little over a year later, he’d be sharing a room and a rank with that pilot.  _ Co-Generals _ . Poe had coined the term the night of the victory celebrations. He said that it was a bit ironic how they were the ones who lead everyone into battle and neither of them cared to join the party. Finn supposed it was because they’d lost so much and they’d been fighting for so long that they just wanted to rest… and grieve.

Poe is still grieving. Even months after the battle was won, he still struggles. Finn had to watch as Poe desperately clung to whatever piece of the Resistance he could. He didn’t want to watch the Resistance fall apart so quickly and easily… but he knew every one of those fighters deserved to go home to see their families.

They’d earned it.

Finn felt himself clinging as well. The Resistance was the only family Finn had ever known. He’s glad the war is over and that the First Order is gone… mostly… hopefully. But he doesn’t know what he’s supposed to do now that the fight is over. Part of Finn knows that there will always be a fight against the darkness.

He just knows. He has a feeling, a premonition.

Instead of drifting into another deep sleep like he’d hoped, he continues to lie awake. Finn sighs and sits up, hearing a huff that he assumes is from his own lungs. But the huff repeats. “Poe,” he says. The name just rolls past his lips like a reflex.

Finn can see Poe’s figure on the cot across from him, settling for just a moment. Finn almost lets himself think that’s it. But within seconds of Finn relaxing, telling himself that Poe will be fine and that he’s not about to have another one of those nightmares, Poe begins to grunt helplessly.

Finn gets on his knees beside Poe’s cot, resting an arm on the other man’s body as he searches for Poe’s hand in the dark. “Hey,” he tries to coax him out of the nightmare. “Poe.” If Finn is lucky, he’ll wake Poe up before it gets worse.

Finn is not lucky. Neither is Poe.

Poe gasps in his sleep and mutters helpless ‘no’s, one after another. He squirms frantically, flinching every so often. His breath is uneven and only a little frantic. Suddenly, he freezes up and that’s when he starts to hyperventilate.

Finn grabs Poe by the shoulders and sits him up. Poe seems to wake finally, taking one deep breath and gasping Finn’s name. “Finn,” he says with barely any voice.

“Hey,” Finn says, still holding Poe up by the shoulder. “I’ve got you. You’re awake now,” he tells Poe. But it seems in his wake, Poe is even more physically terrified. His hands tremor with anxiety. His breathing is still shallow. He might be awake but he’s still living in his nightmare. Finn reaches up to cup Poe’s face with his hands. “Poe, look at me.”

Poe’s eyes shoot wide open, landing on Finn’s. That’s a good sign. It means Poe is listening. “Finn,” he pants. He reaches up and grabs Finn’s wrists, squeezing them shakily. Suddenly, Poe is overcome with nausea, a familiar feeling to Peo these days. Crippling anxiety is usually its precursor. Poe starts to shake his head, refusing to let nausea get the best of him this time. He would  _ not  _ throw up. He couldn’t. Not this time.

Finn hoisted Poe to his feet. “Let’s go for a walk,” he insisted. They maybe made it two strides passed their tent before Poe started throwing up. Finn knew it would happen. The anxiety makes his stomach upset. And nausea makes Poe more anxious which… makes him sicker. It’s a vicious cycle.

Poe threw up in their tent a couple of times before and Finn very quickly developed a plan for when that was a possibility: walks. Whenever Poe woke up from a nightmare, they’d go for a walk in the middle of the night around the base. Since Poe would get sick half of the time he had nightmares, Finn figured it would be better if there was vomit outside of the tent than inside. Not to mention, some fresh air would be good for him and fully wake him up so he wouldn’t just fall back into the nightmare so easily.

As much as Finn hated waking up in the middle fo the night and watching Poe suffer, he began to enjoy their walks. During the day, it seemed like every minute they had together would get interrupted. It frustrated both of them.

Finn and Poe have been doing this dance since the moment they met. Flirting and bickering outlined intense moments of vulnerability. Yes. There were the moments when they would express their genuine care for each other. Poe graciously explained things about life outside of the First Order. He never once made Finn feel bad for where he came from. He made Finn feel like he belonged in the Resistance… like he belonged by Poe’s side.

But there were also moments when their care for each other would be expressed in more negative ways - like jealousy and frustration. Finn had felt jealousy creeping between them a few months into their little dance, trying to cut in. The more impatient Poe got, the more his jealousy showed… the more frustrated Finn got. They reached a breaking point on Kef Bir. Sure, they buckled in as Co-Generals and fought the final battle but as soon as that rush was over, they retreated to their tent to hash things out. They fought. But they mostly cried. And then they went for a walk in the jungle, away from the celebrations.

That’s when Poe started to have a lot more nightmares. That’s when the walks started. That’s when they started getting even closer, friends, Co-Generals, and a promise of something more.

Finn stuffs his hands in his pockets as they walk side-by-side. Poe has always been very touchy-feely so he pressing their shoulders together as he hugs himself. By now, he is calm. He can breathe. “What was it this time?” Finn asks.

Poe shrugs. “Same old, same old, I guess…” He can speak. “A lot of fire and explosions, an overall feeling of failure and… loneliness.” Poe lets out a heavy sigh. He knows he’ll have to live with the sound of explosions and blasts in his sleep for the rest of his life. He can get used to that. But that impending sense of failure and the loneliness. Star, the loneliness terrified him to no end. “I’m afraid of being alone, Finn.” He sighs again, feeling a little heavy with anxiety again. “It’s just… I always felt out of place, my whole life. And then Leia pulled me into the Resistance. I’d never had such a strong sense of purpose or belonging and now it’s just…” Poe trails off shaking his head.

Finn nods. “I know.”

“Of course, you do,” Poe says. “You would know better than anyone. So?” Poe doesn’t look at him. He just watches his step as they march through the jungle towards the opening of the cave.

Finn blinks at him. “So what?”

“What now?”

Finn chuckles and shakes his head. “You think I know? Poe, the Resistance is literally the only thing I’ve known outside of the First Order. I don’t know what’s next. I do know there will always be a fight, a purpose if you will. But it’s also not always going to be our fight, our purpose.”

“So…” Poe shrugs, a smirk on his face as he looks at Finn hopefully. “The Resistance will live on, huh?”

Finn smiles, relieved Poe is at least feeling better enough to send a smirk his way. “Yeah. It will. In you. In me. In all of us.” The way Poe deflates a little does not go unnoticed. “The Resistance isn’t an organization, Poe… it’s people, a cause. It’ll come back into fruition when the Galaxy needs it again. But for now…”

“For now, we part ways,” Poe finishes. He lets out a huffy sigh. Poe can’t bear the thought of parting ways with Finn. Yeah. He loves him. Yeah. He wants him to do what makes him happy. But Poe isn’t ready to say goodbye to any more friends. Especially Finn. He doesn’t even want to think about living through all these post-war, post-resistance nightmares without Finn right there with him. But he can’t keep him from doing what he wants. That wouldn’t be right. “So what are you going to do after this?”

Finn can’t comprehend the question really. “I don’t know,” he replies. He can sense a mood shift from Poe. Like he’s a little upset, maybe even a little angry. “What are you going to do?”

“I don’t know,” Poe says.

Finn hums. “Great. Neither of us know what we’re going to do-”

“You’re not going to be with Rey?” Poe blurts. There it is. That jealousy that burned through Poe like a brush fire. “Thought maybe you could use some of that Jedi training since you’re one with the force now and everything.” Poe looks at Finn who is giving him this look, brows furrowed, not having any of it. “Or Jannah? She seemed like a nice person. You guys had lots of fun riding those… things. Oh! And Rose?! Maybe you’ll take a trip to Canto Bi-”

“Why can’t I be with you?” Finn interrupts, quite pleased with himself when Poe goes silent. Finn is getting a little tired of their dance and he’s not gonna let jealousy cut in and steal his man anymore.

Poe stops in his tracks at the cave entrance. “Me?”

Finn turns and stands in front of Poe. “Yeah. You. Is there a reason I shouldn’t?”

Poe blinks at Finn. “Well… uh…” Finn raises an eyebrow and Poe spits it out. “No… No. In fact, I think that it would be… nice to have you there. My dad is always looking for an extra pair of hands on the ranch. And you-you have nice hands, strong hands.” Poe still watches Finn in shock.

His face reminds Finn of when they met, the moment he’d taken off his helmet. He’ll never forget that face. Finn smiles and looks down at his hands. “Thanks?” At least, Finn thinks that is how he should respond. Poe just nods, grabbing Finn’s hands with his own to give them a good squeeze. Poe only came up awkwardly speechless like this on very rare occasions and Finn always finds it strangely adorable. “Let’s get some tea and head back to bed, shall we?”

The Generals enter the cave to retrieve some tea and some stickli root for Poe to chew on to help settle his stomach. Then they return to their tent - Poe entertaining Finn with talk about the Dameron Homestead. When they reach their quarters, Poe is passively ranting about all of the problems he has with his dad that he’ll have to face when he returns.

Finn sits on the cot, fully listening and watching as Poe removes the bedding from his own cot and arranges it on the floor. He finishes his rant with a sigh and fluffs his pillow, but he doesn’t lay down. He sits on his bum with one leg out in front of him, the other pulled up towards his chest bracing his arm, watching Finn expectantly. “So you really want to come home with me?” he asks.

There’s a vulnerability within Poe’s tone like he doesn’t really trust himself to ask the question or maybe he’s afraid of the answer. Poe awaits Finn’s response. Oil and sweat glisten on his face. There is probably a thin layer of dirt stuck there. Poe tended to get dirty like that. Between the humid jungle air and his gravitation towards mechanical, Poe was a magnet for filth.

Finn hadn’t noticed the filth before they went to bed. He was so tired. He missed it. Poe might not notice it now but Finn cared about the other man too much to let him go to sleep like that two times in a row. He reaches into his bag behind him and pulls out a rag, dumping some water from his canteen that sits at the foot of his bed. He moves to sit next to Poe, probably a little closer than was necessary. “Your face is filthy,” Finn says. His right knee is curled towards himself, resting on top of Poe’s leg. His other leg is stretched out behind Poe. He reaches up to wipe Poe’s face only for the pilot to grab it just before he touches the surface of his skin.

Poe’s jaw clenches and he looks down before he looks Finn directly in the eye. “Answer my question, please.”

Without pause, Finn replies, “You are my home. So yeah… I want to go with you. Wherever that is. If that means fighting for a cause, I’ll fight by your side. If that means going home… I want to go with you.” At this, Poe releases Finn’s hand. Finn begins to wipe at the dirt and grime gently.

This moment is incredibly intimate - Finn admitting that Poe is his home, Finn taking care of Poe so tenderly and thoroughly, Poe letting him do it. “What do you think I should do?” Poe asks tentatively, leaning into Finn’s touch.

“You need to go home,” Finn tells him confidently. He smiles as he pinches Poe’s nose with the cloth to get a particular stubborn smug of grease earning a muffled grunt from him. “Work on things with your dad. Take care of yourself.”

Poe chuckles and scrunches up his nose. “You really think I can do that?”

“Take care of yourself? No,” Finn teases. “That’s why I’m coming with you. I mean, look at you. You can’t even keep your face clean, always sticking your nose into trouble.” There is a certain fondness to the way Finn says it.

“I can’t help it. It’s a big nose,” Poe remarks, grabbing his nose self consciously. “It’s my most distinguishable feature.”

“I don’t know about that. Your ass is pretty big too,” Finn continues to tease, earning a laugh from Poe. Sure, that was bordering on a flirt but… Ok, maybe it was full-on flirting but what is new? It’s just part of the dance they do.

“Wow. I don’t think anyone has ever compared my nose to my ass before. Should I be offended or flattered?”

“I think it’s cute,” Finn says. He’s done cleaning Poe’s face now. They’re just sitting close now as Finn whips around the damp, dirty rag absentmindedly staring at each other in admiration.

“Which one?”

“Hm?”

“Which one do you think is cute? My nose or my ass?” Poe reiterates.

Finn pauses, humming in thought. “Well, your nose is cute,” he says. It sounds like a partial thought, clearly begging Poe to ask for more.

“Ok. What about my ass?”

“I don’t think I need to boost your ego,” Finn says, just for the sake of giving Poe a hard time. He knows Poe enjoys this. When Poe huffs in annoyance at Finn, he rolls his eyes. “Come on, Poe. You’re not insecure about your ass. You don’t need me to tell you it’s cute, do you?”

“No,” Poe agrees. “Because my ass is not cute. Your ass is cute. Mine is sexy as hell.”

“And it’s almost as big as your ego,” Finn teases.

Poe shoves at Finn’s shoulder and they laugh a little until it dies down. “Ya know…” Poe says, shifting back into a more intimate territory. “I don’t exactly have a good track record when it comes to taking guys home. My dad never really liked any of them…”

Finn bites his bottom lip, waiting for Poe to elaborate and give a little background. He can see the gears in Poe’s head are turning. He wonders what he’s thinking. He wonders a lot about Poe and where he came from, even more so than he wonders where he himself came from. “These guys…” Finn blurts, earring Poe’s wandering mind’s attention once more. “Were these boyfriends, just friends?”

Poe seems a little relieved that Finn is asking, sighing and rubbing at his scruffy chin with his hand. “Uh, well I actually brought home both on occasion. When I served in the Navy I would always bring home a friend or two to the ranch if I could. My dad really likes having guests and I guess it helps keep us from fighting the whole time.”

“So you guys fight a lot?” Finn asks, sounding a little disappointed. Poe shrugs in response. “Why?”

“I don’t know. I think it started when my mom died. We kinda pushed each other away… emotionally. It was a team effort. But - uh - I was just a kid. I didn’t know how to cope with that. After my grandfather died, it was just the two of us so I got a boyfriend. I was barely fifteen. He was almost twenty. I suppose I was doing it for attention, to get a reaction out of him.” Poe retells the story, a distant memory of another life at this point.

“Did you get one?” Finn asks. He’s glad to finally hear some more about Poe’s past. He knows there’s a lot of pain there but he wants to know about it. So he can help.

Poe nods. “Not how I think I wanted. It just resulted in a lot of fighting between two people who were hurting. I mean… part of me has always thought that my dad was the adult. He should’ve been the bigger man and sucked it up and taken care of me but now that I’m old enough to have a teenager of my own, I don’t think I’d be able to do that if I lost the love of my life. Now I just feel bad for leaving him all alone…”

“When you were fifteen?” Finn asks, for clarification. Poe’s life is like a puzzle. Finn gets little bits and pieces at a time and has to try and piece them together.

“Yeah. I ran away in the middle of the night. Didn’t even leave a note.”

“What about the boyfriend?” Finn asks.

“Don’t know. But he frequented Hosnian Prime so he’s probably dead,” Poe answers before he mumbles under his breath. “Hope he’s dead, that pervert.” He shakes his head. “Ya know, if some twenty-year-old was preying on my teenage kid, I would be pissed too. Of course, it felt like my dad’s anger was directed at me. Now I know better.”

“Were there other boyfriends that he met?”

“I’ve only had three,” Poe admits. He says it abruptly as if he’s trying to prove something to Finn. “Welp, two and a half really.”

Finn is a bit surprised. “Really? A guy as over-friendly and confident as you, I thought you’d have been with more people by now.”

Poe purses his lips and shakes his head, a negative. “Nah. My first two boyfriends weren’t good to me so I didn’t really want any for a while. Dad didn’t meet the second one cause that was when I was on Kijimi. He’s probably dead now too.”

“Ok. So that’s two out of the two and a half, dead. What about the other one?” Finn asks.

“Well, I went probably a good six years without any semblance of a love life. Then I joined the Navy and met a guy. We weren’t really boyfriends. It was more of a friends-with-benefits kind of deal.”

“What’s that?” Finn asks.

Poe blinks at him. “Oh, uh. It’s basically when friends need to blow off some steam, sexually, but there are no strings attached. It’s just sex. Nothing emotional or personal.”

Finn blinked. “I thought sex was emotional. And personal?”

“That’s probably how it should be,” Poe replies. “In my experience… not really? I mean, never in the way I imagined it would be at least. I don’t think I ever had the right partner though.”

“Did your dad ever meet your friend?” Finn asks.

“Yeah. I took him home and my dad found out that I was sleeping with my Squadmate.” At this, Poe actually rolls his eyes. “He literally threatened to report us to our superior officers unless we cut it out. I’m honestly not that mad about that because, knowing myself, I would’ve gotten hurt, but it’s just… such a ‘Dad’ thing to do.”

“So you listened to him?” Finn asks.

“Yeah. Kinda? I mean, we went back to base and ended up really busy so we didn’t have a lot of time to fool around anyways.”

“Whatever happened to him?”

Poe sighs. “He’s dead.”

Finn sees the blank expression on Poe’s face. He looks numb inside. Finn is beginning to see a pattern. “Is that why you’re afraid of being alone? Cause everyone close to you is always dying?”

Poe looks down at his lap, resting a hand on Finn’s knee. He ponders for a moment. “You have to admit, there is kind of a trail of death wherever I go. My mom, my grandfather, my boyfriends, my uncle, my friends…” Poe takes in a breath and breathes out the last one. “Leia.” Poe has this look of hopelessness in his eyes. Finn doesn’t think he’s ever seen it before. “I feel like I love people just so I can lose them sometimes.”

Finn’s hand rests on top of Poe’s comfortingly. That’s the true pain that Poe feels, loss. Yes. They ultimately won the war. But Poe has lost everything. He’s afraid to lose more. Finn isn’t sure where it comes from or why he feels so confident about it but he tells Poe, “You’ll never lose me, Poe.”

Finn’s not sure what he expected but it wasn’t for Poe to immediately start crying, tears spilling down his cheeks and into their laps. “Don’t say that,” Poe says desperately. He doesn’t want to love Finn, not if it means he will lose him. “Don’t make a promise you can’t keep.” Poe knows he already loves Finn though.

Finn reaches up and wipes at the tears on Poe’s cheeks. He hooks a finger under his chin and pulls gently until Poe is looking him in the eyes. “I already told you. I’m not going anywhere.” Finn knew. He’s not sure how but he just had a feeling. Poe wasn’t going to lose him. “It’s your turn to be loved, Poe.”

Poe’s face reddens as the tears well up in his eyes again. He’s trying to hold himself together but he knows he doesn’t stand a chance. He leans into the touch of Finn’s hand and chokes on a sob. The next thing he knows, he’s being pulled into a warm embrace. Poe buries his face in Finn’s shoulder and clings to him for life as he let’s go of all the hurt he’s been holding in.

They stay like that, wrapped up in each other for a while until Poe’s not sobbing anymore. “Thanks, Finn,” Poe says, pulling back. He sniffles and takes a deep, refreshing breath. He’s healing. It’s just the beginning but he is healing.

Finn smiles. “We’re gonna be ok,” he promises.

“Together?”

“Always,” Finn replies. Poe smiles as he finishes the last of his tea. “Let’s get to sleep, shall we?”

“Mhm,” Poe agrees and lays down on the blanket. Finn moves to get up but Poe tightens his grip on both of his arms. “Hey,” he says, looking at him sleepily. “Lay down here with me.”

Finn raises a suspicious eyebrow. “This isn’t a friends-with-benefits thing, is it?”

Poe rolls his eyes and huffs tiredly. “No. I actually want to get things right with you, Pal. That’s why we’re taking things slowly.” He watches with content as Finn grabs his own bedding and brings it down to the ground nice and close to Poe. Before he settles, he turns off the lamp and takes a sip from his canteen.

“So we’re acknowledging that there is a thing going on now, are we?” Finn remarks as he lays on his pillow, facing Poe. He’s a bit surprised to find that Poe moves even closer, pulling at Finn’s blanket. “Oh. So now that we’re boyfriends you get to steal my blanket?”

Poe chuckles. “It’s called sharing, Finn.” He doesn’t seem to react negatively to Finn calling him his boyfriend. But he doesn’t bring it up either.

“Oh. I’m sorry. It’s not like you don’t have your own-”   
  
“We’re laying on it,” Poe sassed. Finn went silent and Poe laughed some more. Finn sighed and shared his blanket with Poe. “Thank you.” They wrestle around under the blanket until all their limbs are adequately covered.

After a moment of quiet, Finn asks Poe, “Think your dad will like me?”

Poe’s eyes are closed but he still smiles. “He will.”

“How are you so sure?”

“You saved me,” Poe says like it’s that simple. Because, really, it is. “What more could a father ask for?”

Finn watches Poe fondly in the moonlit tent of theirs. He wonders what the future has in store for them. He can feel that it will be good. Poe is the best thing that ever happened to him. He can’t wait to see where this dance takes them, even if it’s a long, slow process letting Poe fall apart so he can help put him back together piece by piece.

**Author's Note:**

> I would love some feedback. It would definitely encourage me to write more.
> 
> Thanks for reading!
> 
> Love,  
> Robin


End file.
